The Doctor's Reaction To The Wheat Field
by CrystalSparkyStar
Summary: First of all, I do not like the Host, so expect a bit of character bashing. Just in case you're a fan–and even if you are, then there's no problem, more power to you. I just thought a warning would be good.


**First, I've always thought that Wanderer's reaction to seeing the indoor garden/wheat field during her caves tour was stupid. She's supposedly over one thousand years old and has travelled through half the galaxy… surely she must have seen things more amazing than **_**that**_**, right? But no, out of all the planets she'd visited, out of all the things she'd done (again, **_**supposedly**_**), she finds the sight of an indoor wheat field **_**shocking**_**. **

**Second, SMeyer kept on ranting about how **_**wise**_** Uncle Jeb was, but personally, I didn't find any proof that he was anything else than downright insane and stupid (you know, the type who thinks 'alien invasion' when his neighbors just start to be polite). *sarcasm* And we all know that's a **_**good**_** idea to give an insane man a rifle! It was established that everyone believed that he was crazy, so why do they let him keep the gun in the first place? And why was he the only one allowed to have a weapon?**

* * *

"So, what do you think?" Jeb asked with a hint of pride, as he led the Doctor into the wheat field. Jared, Ian, Kyle and Aunt Maggie stopped cropping and looked at them. "So, what do you think?" Jeb asked.

The Doctor remained still for a couple of seconds, wearing an unreadable expression. Then, slowly, he turned over to Jeb:

"You wanna know what I think of it? Well okay, I'll tell you what I think of it. It's _boring_!"

Jared, Kyle and Ian gasped in shock. Why… He _wasn't_ impressed? How could he not be?! It was an indoor _wheat field_! Aunt Maggie dropped her bottle of water in surprise.

Before Jared or Kyle could protest, the Doctor lifted a finger:

"Let me explain… although I hate explaining obvious things, but it seems that most people here won't keep up if I don't. So!"

He started walking around them, talking loudly.

"I'm over one thousand years old. I've travelled from one corner of the Universe to the other and beyond. I've seen quite a lot of things. Things you wouldn't even dream of in your wackiest dreams, impossible things and certainly much more impressing things than a _garden_. Don't get me wrong, this–the mirrors thingy is indeed quite an achievement, very clever Jeb, but not enough to impress me."

"Listen here, dude, who do you think you are?" Kyle asked, aggressively, while Jared and Ian frowned.

"I'm the Doctor. I'm over 1100 years old, I'm from the planet Gallifrey, I'm a time traveler and most importantly, _I am talking_! Would you mind not interrupting me while I'm giving a speech? Not even the Daleks do that, what makes you think _you'd_ have the right to? Not to mention that's very rude, interrupting an old man while talking. Jeb, do they interrupt _you_, while you're talking?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Ian asked.

"Just answer the question, Jeb."

Jeb shook his head, still surprised.

"Good. Good to know somebody gets some respect over here." The Doctor then eyed Jeb's rifle. "Well… it figures, since you're the one constantly carrying a gun. Personally, I'd like to think it's more because of your _lovely_ personality and not because of the weapon. How 'bout you?"

"And what exactly makes you think you'd deserve respect?" Jared asked with a note of sarcasm in his voice. "_Who_ are you, by the way? You're no celebrity, I've never even heard of you!"

"Never? Never _ever_? Where have you been living, in a cave?" the Doctor laughed, but stopped when seeing the 'are-you-kidding-me' expressions around him. "Sorry. Bad joke." He then turned back to Jared: "To answer your question, Mr. Howe, I've just told you who I am. Seriously, Mickey in his early days was brighter than you."

"That's it, you shut up!" Jared's voice took an angry tone and he leaped forward, raising his fist…

BANG!

They all covered, at the sound of Jeb's rifle.

"Goddamit, Jeb, stop doing that! You know how much I hate it!" Aunt Maggie yelled.

"Jeb, put that away," the Doctor told him, slowly lifting himself from the ground. Jared, Kyle, Ian and basically all of the people present were still ducking, just in case Jeb's finger would slip.

"Not before they learn some manners, Doctor." Jeb pointed the rifle towards the three boys: "How many times do I have to tell you to behave? This is my house, you are still guests in here and therefore you obey my rules. And I don't like it when my rules are broken.

"I think they got the message, Jeb, there are other ways to–"

"This isn't the first time they've done it. I don't like to be forced to result to such extreme measures to keep order 'round here, but neither will I tolerate this kind of nonsense from my guests."

The Doctor looked at the rifle and then at Jeb, any sign of sympathy disappearing from his face. So, _this_ was the kind of people he was dealing with. Well then, two could play at that game. He remembered he did something similar before, in his seventh incarnation.

"I see," he said coldly. "So _it is_ more because of the weapon. Very well." He gestured towards Jared, Kyle and Ian: "Then finish the job."

Jeb blinked. "What?"

"You heard me. Shoot them. It's not the first time you're threatening them with death, is it? They may think you're not being serious. They are your guests, right? Start treating them likewise. Look your _guests_ in the eyes and shoot them."

"Don't push me, Doctor," Jeb warned him. His voice still under control, but his level of confidence slowly dropped once he saw the look of hate and disgust burning in the other's eyes. His hands began to shake slightly and he once again glanced at Jared, Ian and Kyle.

"Go on. Shoot them and prove just what a good host you are." The Doctor continued calmly. "Shoot someone and prove your authority, Jeb. What's the point of being the only one running around with a weapon if you never use it?"

Now everybody was staring in fear at them. Jamie gasped and took Aunt Maggie's hand. The silence was so deep you could hear a needle falling.

"Now, why are you doing this?"

Jeb was completely at a loss. He could barely even remember his own name. What was this strange man doing to him? Why did he felt like a first-grader being lectured by the teacher because he didn't do his homework, while the rest of the classroom was laughing at him? He was the older one, right? So why would he be so intimidated by someone clearly over fifty years younger than him? By someone wearing a bow-tie, of all things?!

"Do what?"

"This, this thing you're doing right now, right here, at this exact moment. Hesitating. Why?"

Silence. Jeb found out that he could hardly think anymore.

"Why keep people in fear of a bullet that never comes? I'll tell you why. Because you know that that's the only way anyone here will listen to you. You say you always get your way. Is making people afraid that you'll shoot them worth that? That's why you want to be the only one allowed to carry a weapon. You're afraid that if others start to carry them, they'll turn against you. And you want to be Emperor of the Hill, don't you? The outside world is out of bounds and so you desperately feel that you need to be in control of something. It doesn't matter if they're people, or aliens. It's all about the control the rifle can give you."

"No, it's not!" Jeb finally snapped. "It's… it's _their_ fault! This is the only way I can maintain a bit of order 'round here! Otherwise they all start fighting between each other and it all becomes chaos!"

Jeb's voice was starting to break, but the Doctor's expression didn't change.

"I told them about these tunnels. I gave then shelter against the aliens. I'm their leader. They respect me."

"This isn't what a leader does, Jeb. A leader doesn't need a weapon to bring him respect. He earns his respect his actions."

They glared at each other for a minute and eventually, Jeb lowered his eyes. Then he lowered his rifle. Considering the danger had past, Jared, Ian and Kyle rose up on their feet and moved away from Jeb, until they were out of his shooting range.

"I offered them shelter from the aliens! Isn't that enough?" Jeb glanced at his rifle. "I'm only using this as… I want to make sure they…"

The Doctor sighed. "Throw away the rifle, Jeb." His voice softened now; he sounded more tired than anything. Now that the anger had vanished, it pained his hearts to see Jeb in such a state, but he couldn't help it. He had to beat some common sense into that man, even if it hurt him.

Eventually, Jeb let the rifle slide slowly out of his hands. He looked at it a few seconds, lying in the grass, then, when he lifted his eyes, he saw everybody still staring at him. Great. He just made a fool of himself, royally. He knew he would be insane to consider that anyone would ever listen to him again after that scene. He'd worked so hard to earn his position and reputation as a leader all those years … and the Doctor came and shattered it all in less than ten minutes. Suddenly, he found out that he couldn't take the glares he was receiving from the others. Only Jamie's expression was somewhat sympathetic, the rest of them were all either full of pity or downright hostile.

"What are y'all looking at?" he snapped. "Fun's over, get back to work, or I'll…"

"Jeb," the Doctor warned.

"…do nothing except get very upset." Jeb finished mumbling.

"That's better!"

Slowly, between numerous glances towards them, the spectators resumed their work. Considering that he made his point, the Doctor's mood shifted to happy mode once again.

"Right, then!" he clapped his hands and spun around, turning to Jared, Ian and Kyle, who still hadn't recovered completely from the scare and now were staring in shock at him. " Hope you kids learned something useful today! No need to thank me, this is just what I do. So! What were we originally talking about?"

"The wheat field…" Ian squeaked.

"Ah, yes, that. Sorry, but it's still boring. Maybe the trick would have worked if I didn't have such a huge basis for comparison. Better luck next time."

The Doctor paused and then smiled at them:

"But if it makes you feel better, then okay. It's very impressive. Happy now?"

* * *

**I intended this to be shorter and strictly garden-related, but I guess I got carried away. :D Anyway, what do you think? **

…

**I hope I kept the Doctor in-character. **


End file.
